Allah! In the name of most Affectionate the Merciful

Questions to find that: “Am I jealous?”

1)      Is there anybody in your relatives, neighbors, friends or whom you know; whom you don’t like to meet and you hate him due to his respect, fame, wealth or other qualities?

2)      Do you pray of curse and ruin for any of above personalities?

3)      Are you curious to find short comings of any of above named personalities and when you find them, you tell everybody? Do you like backbiting and tale-telling about him?

4)      Do you get happy on grief and sad on happiness of any of above named personalities? Do you feel hatred intensified when you see smile on his face?

5)      Do you think anybody inferior and make fun?

6)      Do you deny help when someone of above personalities needs your help, even when you can? Do you wish that others also don’t help them and try to stop such help?

7)      Do you try to harm or cause loss to him?

8)      Do you not honestly praise any of above personalities? Do you try to avoid others, praising them? Do you feel bad when you listen there praise? Do you avoid disclosing any quality of them which you know?

Attention readers:

            A disease id painful no matter it is less or more, old or new and every patient desires the cure of that disease as soon as possible. Similarly if you find yourself infected of the spiritual disease of ‘Jealousy’, you should immediately take steps to cure yourself because the delay in treatment may ruin your right faith (Eman).

Symptoms and Indicator of Jealousy

We can identify the following behavior and attitude symptoms in the personality of jealous due to jealousy

Discontinuation of salutation and greetings:

Since jealous hates the person from which he is jealous, so do not greet him with blessings a Muslim way called salam) Jealous avoids interaction with the person as much as possible and if by coincidence meets him just greets or smiles with out heart just for hidden selfish goals.

Benediction of curse:

The greatest wish of a jealous is the decline of comforts of the person from which he is jealous so he always for that.

Backbiting tell-tale and false accusations:

Since jealous desires that people don’t respect or love the person of which he is jealous, he in order to make people hate him uses backbiting, tell-tale and false accusations. Some times he uses this methods openly or sometimes under a disguise as he is worried and honest of the persons of which he is jealous. When that person says something inappropriate, jealous projects it further and tells to a rival of him. And that rival when take revenge as a result causing personal or financial injury to him, the jealous gets happy and things it a commendable achievement.

Being happy on grief and vice versa:

            One of the regretful habits a jealous has is to feel sorrow when the person of which he is jealous fells happy and vice versa.  When the jealous sees the favours of Allah on that person and sees him living a happy life, he feels sad. But when the jealous sees that person on trouble and grief, he feels happy. Although sometimes due to his selfish goals the jealous tries as if he is sad too as that person.

To make fun of and thinking inferiors:

            Although the jealous sees many more favours than him, of Allah, to the person of which he is jealous, he does not accept it. He tries to persuade him by various reasoning that he is better than that person and so he starts thinking that person inferior.

            Further, the jealous desires that people also think that person inferior so to accomplish this he makes fun of that person on his clothing, speech, writing and other qualities. He does not like the person who respect and love the person, he is jealous of. Sometimes jealous even does not mind to call names on the person of which, he is jealous.

Restraining from help:

            As the jealous happy when the person of which he is jealous is in trouble or sad, therefore he strongly desires that, that person is ruined by troubles and problems. One method of achieving this is that, when the person needs the jealousy’s help, he although being capable, the declines to help and further he tries that others don’t help him too. When the other person who wants to help that person, asks him for advice, the jealous gives him such advice which is deceptive and raises fears in his heart. For example a person asks someone for monetary help for medicines, business or marriage from another person asks a person, who is jealous of first person, for an advice than the jealous would say: “Oh  Sure help him, but be careful, there are persons who when take loan do not return it.” . This statement of the jealous makes the helping person doubtful and as a result he avoids helping the first person. Jealous considers this his great victory.

Harming and provoking others on opportunity:

            Jealous is very distressed due to hatred of the person of which he is jealous. He thinks the person as the only reason of his distress and thus he keeps on searching for an opportunity to take revenge by getting that person into trouble. And sometimes when it is possible he provokes others to harm and cause loss to that person.

Avoiding appraisal:

            Jealous extremely hates the person of which he is jealous. So he tries to pretend that he is not impresses by the capabilities of that person and he never praises the qualities of that person. Even when he sees someone else praising that person, he tries to change the topic of discussion or leaves the discussion or if the gathering is of his close friends than stops them explicitly.

Treatment of jealousy and male valence

            For above objective these measures should be necessarily taken.

1. Honesty and frequently pray for forgiveness of Allah.

2. Keep recalling the disastrous consequences of jealousy so that the real fear of Allah’s unhappiness, ruin of faith (Eeman), good deeds and fear of punishment of hell is arouse in the heart. Unless this happens it would be difficult to avoid sin.

3. When a person believes that he is near to death, naturally he turn indifferent to the worldly things and he is more concerned of after death (Akhrat). Therefore the jealous should also recall his death frequently.Imam Ahmed reports that Hazrat Abu Darda (May Allah is please with him) said:“There will be a reduction in jealousy and happiness of the person who recalls his death frequently.” (Masnad-e-Imam Ahmed)

4. One of the causes of jealous getting into jealousy is his feeling of self inferiority when he sees favours of Allah conferred upon other person. This feeling of self inferiority is born because the jealous noticed a person better (in favours of Allah) than him. But this would have not happened if he had acted on the following injunction of Holy Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him), the meaning of which is “Notice the people of lower level (status) rather than upper and you will not consider any of favours of Allah inferior or immaterial.” Therefore jealous should see those people upon whom Allah has not conferred favours and not provided them capabilities, although as a hidden purpose of Allah’s unmatched justice.

5. The heart of jealous is filled with hatred of the person of whom he is jealous. This hatred keeps on provoking his feeling of revenge. Therefore to eliminate jealousy, it is necessary to adopt acts which change this hatred into love. The jealous will then like the other person and will never desire his deprivation of bestowments of Allah from that other person. To achieve this these acts are useful:
           i.                     Be first to greet and salute (Salam), shake hands and give gifts too.Hazrat Aata Khrasani (May Allah is please with him) reports that the Holy Prophet Muhammad ( Peace be upon Him) said the meaning of which is: “Shake hands with each other, this will eliminate male valence and give gifts to each others, love will flourish and animosity eliminated.” (Mishkat Al-Mashabeh)
          ii.                   If not forbidden by Shariah (Islamic rules of religion) pray for increase and betterment in the thing which is the reason of jealousy, for example one is jealous of other due to his beauty then he should pray Allah to make him more beautiful. If jealous due to respect and fame than he should pray to Allah to give him more respect and increase in his love in the hearts of people.
          iii.                  Preventing one from exposing the shortcomings and deficiencies of the person of whom he is jealous. If some one other is doing this than he should leave the gathering or instead defend from the side of person of whom he is jealous.
        iv.                 If the person of whom one is jealous is sad, then he should share his grief, if he is ill than visit him and if he is happy than congratulate him and participate in his happiness.
         v.                   If the person of whom one is jealous needs help, then should help him. If can not help himself than try to get help for him from other sources, Further he should try give as much benefits as he can to that other person.
         vi.                 One should recognize the capabilities and qualities of the person of whom he is jealous and praise him publicly. If someone else is praising him then be happy.

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