Importance of marriage in islam
Allah
has created men and women as company for one another, and so that
they can procreate and live in peace and tranquility according to the
commandments of Allah and the directions of His Messenger. The Qur'an
says:
"And among His signs is this, that He created
for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in
tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your
hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect."
(30:21)
And Allah has made for you your mates of your own
nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and
grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best.
(16:72)
These verses of the Noble Qur'an clearly show that
in contrast to other religions like Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism
etc. which consider celibacy or monasticism as a great virtue and a
means of salvation, Islam considers marriage as one of the most
virtuous and approved institutions. The Messenger of Allah (peace be
upon him) declared, "There is no monasticism in Islam." He
further ordained,
"O you young men! Whoever is able
to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and
guard his modesty." "Modesty is part of faith."
(Al-Bukhari)
The word zawaj is used in the Qur'an to
signify a pair or a mate. But in common parlance it stands for
marriage. Since the family is the nucleus of Islamic society, and
marriage is the only way to bring families into existence, the
Prophet (peace be upon him) insisted upon his followers entering into
marriage The Shari'ah prescribes rules to regulate the functioning of
the family so that both spouses can live together in love, security,
and tranquility. Marriage in Islam has aspects of both 'ibadah
(worship) of Allah and mu'amalah (transactions between human
beings).
It is narrated by Anas that the Messenger of
Allah (peace be upon him) said,
"When a man marries, he
has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding
the remaining half."
The Prophet considered marriage
for a Muslim as half of his religion because it shields him from
promiscuity, adultery, fornication, homosexuality etc., which
ultimately lead to many other evils like slander, quarreling,
homicide, loss of property and disintegration of the family.
According to the Prophet (peace be upon him) the remaining half of
the faith can be saved by taqwa.
In a beautiful tradition
the Prophet (peace be upon him) has given the most important point
that should weigh with every Muslim in selecting his
bride:
"Whoever marries a woman solely for her power
and position, Allah will only increase him in humiliation. Whoever
marries a woman solely for her wealth, Allah will only increase him
in poverty. Whoever marries a woman because of her beauty, Allah will
only increase him in ugliness. But whoever marries a woman in order
that he may restrain his eyes, observe cautiousness, and treat his
relations kindly, Allah puts a blessing in her for him and in him for
her."
The consent of both the man and the women
is an essential element of marriage, and the Qur'an gives women a
substantial role in choosing their own life partners. It lays
down:
Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands
when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner. (2: 232)
The
case of Abu Juham bin Hudhaifah and Mu'awiyah ibn Abu Sufyan is
relevant here. They proposed marriage to Fatimah bint Ghaith. The
Prophet (peace be upon him) advised Fatimah not to marry either of
them on the grounds that Mu'awiyah was then a pauper and Abu Juham
was cruel and harsh. So she married Usamah. (freed slave)
FREE
CONSENT:
The Qur'an (4:21) refers to marriage as a mithaq,
i.e. a solemn covenant or agreement between husband and wife, and
enjoins that it be put down in writing. Since no agreement can be
reached between the parties unless they give their consent to it,
marriage can be contracted only with the free consent of the two
parties. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"The
widow and the divorced woman shall not be married until their order
is obtained, and the virgin shall not be married until her consent is
obtained." (AlBukhari)
This aspect is greatly
emphasized by Imam Bukhari. He, in fact, gave one of the chapters in
his Sahih the significant title:
"When a man gives
his daughter in marriage and she dislikes it, the marriage shall be
annulled." Once a virgin girl came to the Prophet (peace be
upon him) and said that her father had married her to a man against
her wishes. The Prophet gave her the right to repudiate the marriage.
(Abu Dawud).
Divorced women are also given freedom to
contract a second marriage. The Holy Qur'an says,
And when you
divorce women, and they have come to the end of their waiting period,
hinder them not from marrying other men if they have agreed with each
other in a fair manner. (2: 232)
With regard to widows,
the Qur'an says,
And if any of you die and leave behind
wives, they bequeath thereby to their widows (the right to) one
year's maintenance without their being obliged to leave (their
husband's home), but if they leave (the residence)
of their own
accord, there is no blame on you for what they do with themselves in
a lawful manner. (2:234)
Under the Shari'ah, marriages
between men and women standing in a certain relationship to one
another are prohibited. These prohibited degrees are either of a
permanent nature or a temporary. The permanently prohibited degrees
of marriage are laid down in the Holy Qur'an :
And marry
not those women whom your fathers married, except what has already
happened (of that nature) in the past. Lo! It was ever lewdness and
abomination, and an evil way. Forbidden unto you are your mothers and
your daughters, and your sisters and your father's sisters and your
mother's sisters, and your brother's daughters and your sister's
daughters, and your foster-mothers and your foster-sisters, and your
mothers-in-law and your step-daughters who are under your
mother-in-law and your step-daughters who
are under your
protection (born) of your women unto whom you have gone into -- but
if you have not gone into them, then it is no sin for you (to marry
their daughters) -- and the wives of your sons froom your own
loins, and that you should have two sisters together, except what has
already happened (of that nature) in the past. Allah is
ever-Forgiving, Merciful. (4:22 - 24)
...But do not make a
secret contract with them except in honorable terms, nor resolve on
the tie of marriage till the term prescribed is fulfilled.
(2:235)
Two Suitors Seeking to Marry the Same Girl:
The
Prophet (peace be upon him) disapproved of two persons competing with
one another to secure marriage with the same girl. This is because
such a situation is likely to develop bitter enmity between two
Muslim brothers.
The Prophet said,
"A
believer is a brother of a believer. Hence it is not lawful for him
to bargain upon the bargain of a brother, nor propose for (the hand
of a girl) after the marriage proposal of his brother, until the
latter
(voluntarily) withdraws the proposal."
Imam
Abu Hanifa,(r.a) Imam Shafi'i,(r.a) and Imam Malik,(r.a.) all hold
the view that it is a sin to put a proposal of marriage against the
proposal of another Muslim brother. However, if a marriage is
contracted in this wrongful way it will be sufficient if the second
suitor who was successful seeks the forgiveness of the first suitor
and of Allah. But Imam Dhahiri considers such a marriage void. It is
respectfully submitted that the former view is more rational and
sound.
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