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Good Example Of Marriage
When
Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) reached the age of fifteen, proposals
for her marriage began to come from high and responsible families.
But the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) remained
irresponsive.
Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu), who was 21 at the
time, says: It occurred to me that I should go and make a formal
proposal, but then I thought, 'How could this be accomplished, for
I possess nothing.' At last, encouraged by the Prophet's kindness,
I went to him and expressed my intention to marry Faatima
(Radhiyallaahu Anha). The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam)
was extremely pleased and asked, 'Ali! Do you possess anything to
give her in Mahr?' I replied, 'Apart from a horse and an armour I
possess nothing.'
The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam)
said, 'A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away
your armour.'
So, Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) went and sold his
armour to Uthmaan
(Radhiallaahu Anhu) for 480 Dirham and
presented it to Rasulullah
(Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam).
Bilaal (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was ordered by the Prophet (Sallallaahu
Alayhi Wasallam) to bring some perfume and a few other things and
Anas (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was sent to call Abu Bakr, Uthmaan,
Talhah, Zubayr with some companions from the Ansaar (Radhiallaahu
Anhum).
When these men arrived and had taken their seats,
the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) recited the Khutbah
(sermon) of Nikaah and gave Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) in
marriage to Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu). He announced, 'Bear you all
witness that I have given my daughter Faatimah in marriage to Ali
for 400 Mithqaal of silver and Ali has accepted.' He then raised
his head and made Dua saying, 'O Allah, create love and harmony
between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.'
after the Nikaah, dates were distributed.
When the time
came for Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) to go to Ali's
(Radhiallaahu Anhu) house, she was sent without any clamour,
hue and cry accompanied Umm Ayman (Radhiallaahu Anhu). After the
Aaisha Salaat, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) went to
their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of
water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Ali
(Radhiallaahu Anhu) and Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) and made Dua
for them.
The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved
daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses,
one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one
bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.
In this
simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the
worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding
becomes very simple and easy to fulfill.
SOME METHODS
DERIVED FROM THE ABOVE MENTIONED MARRIAGE
1. The many
customs as regards engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact,
many are against the Shariah and are regarded sins. A verbal
proposal and answer is sufficient.
2. To unnecessarily
delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the
age of marriage is incorrect.
3. There is nothing wrong in
inviting one's close associates for the occasion of Nikah.
However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people
from far off places.
4. It is appropriate that the
bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.
5. If the
father of the girl is an Aalim or pious and capable of performing
Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.
6. It
is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do
so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong
in giving less.
7. It is totally un-Islamic for those, who
do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have
grandiose weddings.
8. It is fallacy to think that one's
respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding
and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam)? 9. The present day
practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and
totally against Shariah.
10. There is nothing such as
engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam.
11. Great
care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage
by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.
12. It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.
13.
The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding
a feast has no basis in Shariah.
14. For the engaged couple
to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand
and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur'anic law
of Hijaab.
15. It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to
meet each other and also go out together.
16. Three things
should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter gifts and
presents at the time of Nikah:
o Presents should be given
within one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on
interest for such presents);
o To give necessary items;
o
A show should not be made of whatever is given.
17. It is
Sunnat for the bridegroom's family to make Walimah.
Note:
In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the
people and care should be taken that the is no extravagance, show
and that no debts are incurred in the process.
18. To delay
Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.SOME CUSTOMS
In aping
Western methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs
which are un-Islamic and frowned upon.
Some examples are:*
Displaying the bride on stage;
* Inviting guests for the
wedding from far off places;
* Receiving guests in the
hall;
* The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses
by holding a feast which has no basis in Shariah. We should
remember that Walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom
after the marriage is consummated.
* It is
contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some
non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents
and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should
always remember that our Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) did
not give Ali(Radhiallaahu Anhu) anything except Dua.
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